During these tough times as an educator–as a person–I often find myself sitting, sipping coffee, and reflecting. Frozen in the moments of silence and disbelief. Simply frozen in the stillness.

Just a month ago I was answering emails by the hour while returning missed calls. Just a month ago, I was preparing presentations, attending trainings, scheduling upcoming events. Just a month ago, I was planning our summer getaway, frantically meal prepping, and fitting in quick 20 minute workouts.

One month ago.

Just a week ago, I finished my second book that I’m reading for pleasure. Just a week ago, my husband and I spent our first night with his family on a virtual game night (we’ve had three now) and we were also able to zoom family from afar. Just a week ago, I picked up skills I never knew I had–arm-knitting (Grandma would be proud) lego building, etc.

One week ago.

Just yesterday I binge watched 24, I slept until 9:00am, I went for an extra run, I cuddled by dogs a little longer. I poured an extra cup of coffee. I ate chocolate chips out of the bag. I appreciated the simple things of my husband, instead of making everything so complicated.

Yesterday.

I gave myself permission.

It’s sad to admit it; and, quite frankly, it’s a tad embarrassing to confess to you–the public–that I have to give myself permission to do those simple tasks. Yet, is that not the truth? We busy ourselves in the minute. We make the simple, complex.

We create a life where we feel the need to grant permission to enjoy the little intricacies of life.

And…that is my fear. People always say don’t lose sight of these moments you have right now–when life slows down, when you have no choice but to keep life simple. People ask, “What will life be like when we get back to normalcy?” I fear I go back to a life where I need to grant myself permission, where you might feel the urge to grant yourself permission.

Yet, no matter my fear…

I won’t. I can’t. You can’t.

My challenge for you, for me, is to move forward and live a life full of extra cups of coffee, lost in a good book, and unknown adventures that lead you to new discoveries.

Go, live a life where you are (and I am) granted full permission, without the guilt and the ‘what-ifs’.